Danger Zone (Tuesday, May 05, 1998 Part 1)

WARNING: The following program has been deemed unsuitable for children under the age of 14. Parental discression is advised. The CNWF² and CyberNetic Industries, Ltd., are not in any way liable for any abnormal behavior, shock, or mental scarring a viewer may feel while viewing the events which happen on this show. You are not obligated to watch the show if it is incongrouous with your tastes, therefore any legal action you may want to take against the CNWF² program and it's producers is irrelevant. The fault lies souly in the viewers inability to follow a simple warning such as this, not the producers of the product. If you find yourself offended in any way, shape, or form by this broadcast, simply change the channel and never tune back in.

CNWF²

CYBERNETIC WRESTLING FEDERATION²

PRESENTS:
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DANGER
ZONE
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Tuesday, May 05, 1998
8:00 pm - 10:00 pm PDT

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WELCOME TO THE NEXT DIMENSION
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Location : Sacramento, California
Arena : (Standard)
Maximum Attendance: 9,596
In Attendance : 9,578
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{intro}
The "Danger Zone" theme quietly begins playing as the Danger Zone logo fades on to the screen. It remains in the center of the black screen for a few seconds. After the alloted time, a rippling effect takes the logo off the screen as the incessant beat of the Danger Zone theme picks up momentum. Now a clip of the Evil Lord Pelius can be seen throwing an unrecognizable wrestler over the top rope of a ring filled with many other competitors, but are unrecognizable due to the brevity of the clip. Another clip pops up of Dominator of Destruction delivering his "Self Destruct" second rope powerbomb to Jason Agony. The next clip is of Malibu Mike Donovan delivering his "Malibu Adjustment" piledriver to another unrecognizable wrestler. A clip of president Lex Victor extending his arm toward the ring with his fist electronically blurred out is shown next. Clips such as those continue on as the music progresses. The clips stop, but the music continues during...

{cut to an aerial shot of the arena}
... a shot of the arena. From the looks of it, the arena is jam packed full of fans of the CNWF². There are signs held by audience members, though not a very dense collection of signs. One reads "Dexter Copeland Fan Club Member". The music fades out at this point.

{cut to shot of the commentary table}
The well built, fair haired and skinned "pretty boy" Frenchie Parker is sitting next to the quite contrasting ebony skinned, very thin Dexter Copeland. They each are wearing the CNWF² commentator's pin which is an exact replica of the CNWF² emblem.

{commentary}
Frenchie Parker: Welcome everyone to this very special "Cinco de Mayo" edition of Danger Zone! Boy do we have one heck of a lineup for you tonight. We're bringing you two full hours of some of the best wrestling action you can find... so kick back and enjoy!

Dexter Copeland: Yeah... but where's Knee Johnson?

{cut to shot of the walkway}
Suddenly, a loud, fast paced Mexican polka style bass line kicks in as a group of what appears to be five Mexicans and Knee Johnson step into view. Each of them are holding two large bottles of beer, and Knee Johnson appears to be hooked to a large keg of beer with a large plastic tube leading to his mouth as if it were an oxygen tank. Surprisingly, the audience is cheering at this.

{commentary}
Frenchie Parker: Oh my gosh! I thought Lex said Knee couldn't bring beer to the show anymore! He sanctioned that just last year!

Dexter Copeland: I ain't known dat Knee man fo' too long... but I nevah 'spected him ta follow the ru'es.

{walkway}
The Mexicans set their beers down as Knee Johnson goes around slapping hands with them. After that is over, they give Knee what appears to be a warm farewell as he carts his keg of beer down the aisleway, waving back at them.

{commentary}
Frenchie Parker: I guess Knee's coming here now.

Dexter Copeland: Well, there goes the who'e night.

{cut to shot of the commentary table}
Knee Johnson finally makes it to the commentary table. Now that he is near, a humming sound can be heard which seems to be emanating from the beer keg. The words "Mechanical Beer Keg" can be seen written in list form on the right side of it as well. Before sitting down, Knee takes the tube from his mouth, and immediately the humming stops, then positions the keg behind the chair he is about to sit in. Knee then takes a seat at the table which from the camera's perspective would be the left side. His keg is still easy for him to access... especially with the tube he has leading from it.

Knee puts on a headset and is ready to speak.

{commentary}
Knee Johnson: Hiya!

Frenchie Parker: What do ya think you're doing, Knee?

Knee Johnson: I decided I'm not letting Lex ruin my "Cinco de Mayo", Frenchie.

Frenchie Parker: But you're not even Mexican, Knee!

Knee Johnson: Maybe not... but I'm good friends with Alejandro Valensuela and he's Mexican enough. I'm not gonna insult him by not partaking in a few beers!

Dexter Copeland: Dis be national television, Knee... dis is a bad example you're putting before the children.

Knee Johnson: You're a bad example, too! I mean who in their right mind would wanna grow up ta be like you?

Dexter Copeland: Who wouldn't wanna be tall, handsome, and good at basketball?

Knee Johnson: If it meant giving up my intelligence, I wouldn't wanna be!

Frenchie Parker: [chuckling a bit] Well, Knee, ya really wouldn't be givin' up anything!

Knee Johnson: [insulted] Very funny...

Frenchie Parker: [resuming composure] Anyway, we have a pretty big night ahead of us. We have Christopher Felinsworth defending his television belt against Steve Woodthorpe... a man who's really been on a roll here lately. Felinsworth is gonna have a tough time in this match because Woodthorpe really wants ta come away with the gold.

Dexter Copeland: Yeah... den we gots Da Hip Hopsta takin' on Deaf...

Frenchie Parker: [interrupting] That's Death.

Dexter Copeland: That's what I said. Deaf. It's my accent.

Knee Johnson: Yeah... he's from Ebonia. It's an Ebonic accent.

Dexter Copeland: Ya keep talkin' that way an' yo' ass is gonna get pounded!

Frenchie Parker: Cool it, guys! Anyway, we have Stealth facing Simon Prestwell... then to end the first hour we have The Evil Lord Pelius wrestling Tommy Craven! The second hour of course is gonna have some even more serious action! You won't wanna miss it. We have a big double main event featuring a long awaited match between Dominator of Destruction and Assassin. Then we have a match that some are saying is gonna be the start of Armageddon here in the CNWF Squared!

{cut to shot of the ring}
In the center of the ring the ring announcer is standing holding a microphone and what looks like a 3 x 5 card in his hand.

{ring}
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall for the World Television Championship! [audience cheers] Introducing first the challenger hailing from Boston, Masachusetts; weighing in at two-hundred seventy-five pounds... Steve Woodthorpe!

{cut to shot of the walkway}
''Mo Money Mo Problems'' by Puff Daddy plays over the public address system as the muscular black haired Steve Woodthorpe makes his way to the ring. He receives a moderate reaction from the audience, though nothing too noteworthy.

{cut to shot of the ring}
Woodthorpe finally enters the ring as his music fades out.

{commentary}
Knee Johnson: Mo' money, mo' prob... hey! What happened to my music?

Dexter Copeland: Dat wasn't music. Dat was weak.

Knee Johnson: Oh well... nothin' a good slug o' beer won't cure.

{cut to shot of the commentary table}
Knee Johnson picks up the tube leading from his beer keg, lifts it to his mouth, and presses a button on the tube. A humming sound begins and soon Knee is drinking beer once again. After a few moments, he releases the button and puts the tube down by his side once again. He wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt, and bellows a contented sigh.

{commentary}
Knee Johnson: Aaaah! That was good!

Dexter Copeland: What da hell do ya have in dat thing?

Knee Johnson: It's a pump! It makes my life a whole lot easier!

Dexter Copeland: You have a beer keg wif a pump connected to it? Man, you got some pro'lems!

Knee Johnson: Thanks.

Frenchie Parker: Knee's depraived, Dex. Just forget about him.

{cut to shot of the ring}
Steve Woodthorpe is now in a corner waiting for his opponent. The ring announcer is once again standing in the center of the ring ready to announce the champion.

{ring}
Ring Announcer: And the defender, weighing in at two-hundred thirty-one pounds, the Television Champion of the World... Christopher Felinsworth!

{cut to shot of the walkway}
Puff Daddy's "All About The Benjamins" Rock Remix plays. Christopher walks down the aisle wearing black wrestling pants with the letters "CF" embroidered on the side in gold. He also wears a black t-shirt with "FPW" written in gold letters. The Television belt is slung over his left shoulder. James walks before him while his large Italian, tuxedo clad, sunglasses wearing bodyguard Guido walks behind him. The fans are booing quite loudly at this point.

{cut to shot of the ring}
Felinsworth finally enters the ring. A ring attendant is already there for him to hand his belt over to. Felinsworth hands over the belt and takes off his t-shirt and hands that over as well, then readies himself for the match as the ring attendant leaves. Felinsworth's music stops now as well, and only the booing of the audience can be heard.

{commentary}
Dexter Copeland: Dis Felinsworf be one arrogant punk!

Knee Johnson: Is it just me, or has your speaking ability deteriorated more since last week?

Frenchie Parker: Come on! Be nice.

{ring}
The referee has now signalled for the bell, thus beginning the match.

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Christopher Felinsworth, esq vs Steve Woodthorpe
6'-2", 231 lbs — 6'-4", 275 lbs
(One Fall Singles Match for the CNWF² World Television Championship)
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{ring}
Before Felinsworth is even prepared for it, Steve Woodthorpe charges him and clotheslines him to the canvas. Immediately the audience begins cheering as Woodthorpe kicks Felinsworth while he's down who quickly rolls out of the ring. Woodthorpe tries to follow him, but the referee stops him.

{commentary}
Frenchie Parker: This match is already looking pretty bad for Felinsworth!

Dexter Copeland: Maybe dis Woodthorpe guy ain't dat bad! I still don't like anyone who has "Puff Daddy" playin' dey entrance music.

Knee Johnson: Ah, it don't matter ta me! No matter what Woodthorpe does, I hope Felinsworth kicks his ass.

Frenchie Parker: Felinsworth rolling back in the ring now.

{ring}
Felinsworth regains his composure and locks up with Woodthorpe. However, Woodthorpe quickly is able to take over with a belly to belly suplex which takes Felinsworth off his feet quickly and effectively. The cheering starts up once again as Woodthorpe walks over to Felinsworth, leaps off the canvas and connects with a leg drop... almost connects that is. Felinsworth barely rolled out of the way before Woodthorpe connected. Felinsworth is now kicking away at Woodthorpe's gut until his has him against the ropes. The referee gets between Felinsworth and Woodthorpe before he can do anything else. Felinsworth backs off.

{commentary}
Frenchie Parker: Oh man! Felinsworth comin' back into this one!

Knee Johnson: Go Chris!

Dexter Copeland: Wait... Woodthorpe's up! Huge clothesline, foo'!

{ring}
Felinsworth has just been leveled by a hefty clothesline from Steve Woodthorpe. Felinsworth is now on the canvas holding his throat, but Woodthorpe isn't done with him. As the audience cheers loudly, Woodthorpe picks Felinsworth off the canvas, but this time he grabs him around the throat. The audience cheers as Woodthorpe hoists Felinsworth up for a chokeslam. Woodthorpe holds him up high for a few moments, then slams him down to the canvas. The cheering is tremendous.

{commentary}
Frenchie Parker: Oooh! Felinsworth couldn't have liked that one! It's almost over for him!

Dexter Copeland: Felinsworf's rollin' out da ring once again!

Knee Johnson: Get outta there, Felinsworth!

{cut to ringside shot}
Felinsworth is now in the middle of his entourage and is making his way down the aisle. The camera swings toward the ring to catch Woodthorpe challenging Felinsworth to get back in the ring. He seems quite flustered. The camera then swings back to catch Felinsworth extending his right arm with his middle finger pointed in the general direction of Steve Woodthorpe.

{cut to shot of the ring}
Woodthorpe is quite angry at this moment, and tries exiting the ring. It's at this moment that the referee has made it to the ten count.

{cut to ringside shot}
Woodthorpe runs to the time keeper's table and picks up the television belt. Woodthorpe looks to be quite angry at this moment. He yells at Felinsworth to look in his direction.

The camera pans to face Felinsworth who is still making his way back to the locker room area, but looks back at Woodthorpe. At that moment the World Television belt flies across the screen and hits Felinsworth directly in the face. The crowd is cheering.

{commentary}
Frenchie Parker: Woodthorpe wasn't too happy about Felinsworth escaping defeat right there! That had ta hurt! It looks like Felinsworth got cut by the impact of that belt!

Dexter Copeland: Serves da foo' right!

Knee Johnson: I don't think so, Dexter.

{ringside}
Sure enough, blood is trickling from Felinsworth's temple as he walks back up the aisle with the help of Guido and his butler James.

{cut to shot of the ring}
Woodthorpe's arm is being raised as he is being announced as the winner.

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Steve Woodthorpe by Countout
(Christopher Felinsworth, esq. Retains the World Television Championship)
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{cut to shot of the commentary table}
Knee Johnson: Man, that's gotta be one disappointing loss for Felinsworth.

Dexter Copeland: Fo' Felinsworf? Man, dis has ta be disappointin' fo' Steve Woodthorpe! He had da belt in da bag!

Frenchie Parker: Defeating Christopher Felinsworth is disappointing? Come on, Dex! Steve Woodthorpe defeated Christopher Felinsworth! There's no way that's a disappointment. Sure, he didn't get the belt... but he beat Felinsworth. Ya can't have everything every time, ya know.

Knee Johnson: I can! [With those words, Knee Johnson once again picks up the tube leading from the beer keg, swilling away as he presses the button. He takes several gulps, then stops once again.]

Frenchie Parker: What-ever, Knee. Anyway, we must go to a commercial break. Da Hip Hopsta is takin' on Death when we come back! Don't go away!

{commentary area}
The camera fades out soon after those words from Frenchie Parker to make way for the commercials.
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|— {Commercial Break} |
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